Accio Intelligence
by Austrian Artemis
Summary: For a long time, Artemis always assumed that fairies were the only ones with magical abilities. All this changed when he learned a family secret - and he wanted in.  I own nothing besides my OCs.  Next generation story.
1. Prologue and Chapter One  Owls

Prologue – September 1, two years after Artemis Fowl's birth

Angeline and Artemis Senior held their baby boy, already growing dark hair like his father's, on their lap. Of course, this was during Arty Senior's tough days – when everything was money.

_Aurum Est Potestas_

Albus Dumbledore, famous wizard, sat in their living room with them. Artemis Senior was frowning, and Angeline was drying tears falling from her large brown eyes.

"It's alright, Angeline," Dumbledore said, patting her knee. "It's going to be alright. You may feel the need to keep him from our world. The world of magic isn't safe for someone as smart as Artemis. There are too many dark wizards running amuck waiting to snatch someone up with an intellect such as his."

Artemis Senior sighed and stood up. "I just can't believe it. Isn't there anyway this can be fixed?"

Dumbledore was about to answer, but Angeline sobbed and barely mumbled, "…no, darling… once a squib, always a squib."

"Such a shame, really," Dumbledore said after a few moments of almost awkward pause. "He would've made a great Ravenclaw."

August 1

It was one month before his twenty-fourth birthday, and Artemis Fowl, the great child genius, no longer a child, really, looked out the large window of his dark bedroom. It was morning, but a dull one at that. He hadn't ever been much of an outside person; however something was nagging at him from the back of his mind on this summer morning. He was still living in Fowl Manor, however he now had, what some may call, a "life".

He had a girlfriend, Marisol Alvarez, a Spanish chess champion. Long, silky, chocolate brown hair, eyes like crisp brownies, and skin as soft as… skin. She had a much better sense of humor than dear Artemis, and they had quite a bit more in common than just chess playing.

He had a career – teaching psychology at a university in Dublin, and he was one of the most liked professors because he was one of the youngest. Some of his students were older than he.

However, still living in Fowl Manor, he watched something swoop past his window. Several times. A bird? No. Too big. There weren't any hawks or eagles around this region, so what was it? An owl?

"Yes," Artemis said aloud. "An owl."

After pondering this for a few moments he wondered… an owl? Nocturnal animals shouldn't be out in the morning. Let alone coming and flying awfully close to the kitchen window.

He wondered if the windows were open downstairs and the owls assumed they could try and fly in. He decided he had better close the shades in the kitchen. He dressed and headed down the creaking stairs of Fowl Manor, hearing voices in the kitchen.

"Myles! Beckett!" He heard Angeline call. He was about halfway down the stairs when suddenly he felt a rush of air beside him and two eleven year old boys ran past him. He smiled, knowing that they were only children, and followed them downstairs.

"A letter came for you two," he heard Angeline say. "And I believe more are on their way. You're going to make so many friends this year."

He questioned what they were talking about, and as he rounded the door into the kitchen, he saw the twins in mid-high five as Beckett shouted, "Alright! Hogwarts!"

He assumed this was some sort of code word they used, however he was extremely confused whenever he saw the kitchen window open, his mother standing there in her floral print robe with a screech owl on her shoulder.

"Mother?" He asked.

"Oh, Arty, dear, we, um…" She said, and the owl hastily turned and left.

Artemis senior, now getting gray in his hair, came in the other kitchen entrance with a cup of coffee in his left hand and a newspaper in the other. "I heard shouting – did the boys get their invitation to hog-"

He then looked up and saw Artemis junior, and stopped in mid-sentence. "Arty, boy, I didn't know you were awake…"

"What's going on?" Artemis interrupted.

Beckett rushed forward and shoved a piece of paper- no – parchment, in Artemis's face. "Look! Artemis, Myles and I are going to Hogw-" and a small hand clamped over his mouth. Myles, looking more and more like Artemis everyday, angrily shushed him.

"Hog wits… it's a summer club… for… eleven-year-olds. It's a trivia camp. About pigs." Beckett continued once Myles had let him go.

"…owls…" Artemis managed to say, as if trying to comprehend too many things at once.

"…that's…um…" Angeline tried to explain. She found no logical explanation for why there was an owl on her shoulder a few seconds prior to this odd incident.

"Angeline…" Artemis senior said. "…it's about time we told him. He's bound to find out eventually."

"We told Dumbledore we wouldn't, Timmy." She said, looking longingly at her husband.

"…dumb bowl door?" Artemis asked.

And without warning, Angeline's face fell into her hands, and she was sobbing.

Beckett and Myles knew that whenever their mother started to cry, it was time to go. So they awkwardly exited the room, walking backwards through the door to the main hall. As they ran back up the stairs and were out of earshot, Myles angrily turned to his dirty blonde twin.

"Beck, you just revealed the family secret to the one person Mom told you NOT to reveal it to! What if Dumbledore finds out!"

"Dumbledore isn't gonna find out, stupid." Beckett said as they rounded the corner. They weren't watching where they were going, and it was because of this that they ran straight into the robes of Albus Dumbledore.

"Myles, Beckett." Dumbledore said calmly. Beckett was shaking nervously, and Myles only looked up at his new headmaster and rolled his eyes.

"Professor Dumbledore, Beckett told Artemis that we're wizards." He said matter-of-factly. And Beckett looked up innocently. "I didn't know that he didn't know! I perform magic for him all the time."

Myles whapped his twin in the face. "He thinks you want to be a magician, stupid!"

"He does?" Beckett pondered, and Dumbledore brought back their attention.

"Boys, what Artemis knows now you can do nothing about, and I am only here to help him and your parents through this situation. Now, take some chocolate frogs." Dumbledore said this calmly and reached into his pocket and pulled out some boxes of chocolate frogs for the boys. He dumped a large pile into their hands, and Beckett tore them open immediately, and Myles tried to sort them so they would get an equal amount. As he looked up to thank Professor Dumbledore, he couldn't, because he was gone.

Artemis rubbed his forehead, his elbows resting on his knees. "You mean to tell me… that our family… is a family of… of… wizards?"

Dumbledore patted his back. "Artemis, I know that it must be hard to just now find this out. You see, with a mind like yours, too many people would want to make you an ally, and you might be brought to the dark side."

Artemis Fowl the first had his arms around Angeline on the other side of the couch. "Arty, boy, the dark side is not where you want to be. I confess I was there once… but after you rescued me, I was… I… I decided to make a change."

Artemis Junior looked up. "From the… Russian mafia?"

"That's what you were told. The truth is much worse. A dark wizard… Igor Karkaroff… he… after his death, his Russian…"employees", if you will… made some shady deals in which I was a part of. I attempted to overthrow the head of their little group, and things got a little out of hand. I decided to stay away from the darker side. I had a family to take care of, a boy to raise…." Artemis Senior looked down shamefully and said nothing more.

"We have all done things we are ashamed of, Artemis," Dumbledore said, looking at Artemis Senior. "But all is said and done, and you are forgiven."

Artemis I nodded, and Artemis Jr. was clueless as to what to say. His parents always hid things from him. His father always called him ungrateful when he was younger, before the kidnapping. His mother always wondering when he would show some manners. Telling him the secrets they possessed was the least they could've done to keep him home.

But wizards? This was too extreme. "Proof." He said aloud.

"Pardon?" Dumbledore said, and turned to Artemis, sitting on the chair to his left.

"How do I know this isn't some intricate joke for my birthday? Myles has done this before." Artemis argued. Please let this horrific story be false.

Dumbledore reached into his robe and pulled out a long, thin piece of wood. He held it daintily in his old hands and said, "_Lumos_". To Artemis's amazement, the piece of wood – a wand, he assumed – lit up at the tip.

"Do something more, if you don't mind," Artemis said, amused, and Dumbledore waved his wand again.

"_Windgardium Leviosa,_" he said, and the chess board sitting on the side table slowly arose, following the path of his wand.

"Interesting," Artemis said, pretending not to have his mind blown. He was always a good actor, however he was trying to keep himself from having a mental breakdown because everything he thought he knew about his family was wrong.

"Magic, my dear boy, is a wonderful thing," his father said, and Artemis looked at him interestingly. It was uncharacteristic of him to stare at someone for such a long period of time, but he mentally was digging a ditch for all of these unwanted thoughts about his father to be placed in.

"Professor Dumbledore, would you mind coming up to the library with me?" Artemis said, ignoring his father's remark, and Dumbledore stood up.

"I'd be delighted. Lead the way, Artemis." Dumbledore said in an almost happy way, and Artemis pushed himself out of the armchair and led the long-bearded man up the creaky wooden stairs and around the corridors to the library.

Myles and Beckett listened to the entire conversation. When they heard Artemis and Dumbledore coming up the stairs, they rushed for the farthest corner of the library in attempt to hear more. As they waited, Myles shook his head and sighed, coming very close to bumping his head because he was curled up in a ball on the bottom shelf.

"I can't believe they told him everything," he said nervously.

Beckett, a shelf above him, his long, curly, dirty-blonde hair falling down past the shelf to where Myles could pull it if he chose to, responded by saying something they were obviously both thinking.

"I can't believe he didn't figure it out earlier," he said curiously. Myles rolled his eyes and started to say something, but Beckett kept going. "He's obviously had something else on his mind, though. He's always mumbling about computer gadgets and mental disorders and "Holly" and some noble steed in his sleep. Always shutting himself in his study – you know, do you think Artemis has a horse or…"

"SHUT IT!" Myles interrupted, and Dumbledore and Artemis walked into the library.

"Professor Dumbledore, tell me about this school… Hog wits, it is?" Artemis inquired, skimming up and down the shelves.

"Hogwarts, but close. What would you like to know?" Dumbledore responded, and pulled an old book off the shelf and looked through the dusty pages.

"What sort of subjects do you cover? Is the wizard world much different?" Artemis said, gently pulling an extremely old edition of _Uncle Tom's Cabin _off the shelf at his eye level. Why did he even own this book?

"Well, we don't have an algebraic studies class, if that's what you're thinking of," Dumbledore said, and Artemis smirked, almost laughing. But he felt too cold to laugh, and he left Dumbledore continued. "We offer arithmancy, which, in all honesty, I believe, is studying an almanac. Required classes are potions, a rather hard class due to memorization. Also is transfiguration, turning things into other things, to keep it simple, herbology, necessary for potions, and charms, little things like the spells I was doing. Defense against the dark arts is a favorite if we can find a decent teacher…"

Artemis let Dumbledore ramble on and on about the subjects at Hogwarts, making mental notes of every detail. He wouldn't let being a squib get in the way. He would be a wizard – and he would be part of his family tradition.


	2. Chapter 2  Dementor

Dumbledore left later that night, and Angeline took Myles and Beckett to Diagon Alley and the surrounding streets to go shopping for their books. Artemis sat, as usual, at his computer, staring at the screen for several hours, trying to research all he could find about wizards. All he found were folklore stories, nothing recent like a school for wizards of any sort. He was confused, tired, and impatient as he walked through the halls of Fowl Manor to his bedroom.

Lying down on his dark blue bed, in the dark blue room, he felt very unsure of this plan. He didn't know if it would work. He didn't even know if No1 would show up. After waiting for another two hours, staring at the moon's eerie glow from behind his curtain, he heard Myles and Beckett rush up the stairs into their rooms, hearing them chewing on something so loudly he nearly swore that all of Haven could hear them.

"Yuck!" Beckett shouted, and Artemis heard spitting sounds.

"Beckett, did you pick up another toe jam flavored bean?" Myles said quietly, and walked past his room.

"No!" Beckett shouted accusingly, and then paused. "Yes." He said ashamed, and the twins walked too far away to be heard as Myles chuckles echoed eerily.

Artemis sighed, and closed his eyes. After nearly falling asleep thinking of odd rhymes that might work as spells, he heard a tapping noise on his large bedroom window. He usually kept the curtains closed, but he knew what – or in this case who – it was.

He slowly rolled over and shoved the covers off of his cold body. Wearing his black silk pajamas, he nearly fell off the bed trying to keep the fabric from sticking to his sweaty arms. Finally, managing to only half fall off the bed in a tangle of sheets, he stood up, hastily slipping his night shoes on, and scuffled to the window.

He slid the curtains back, seeing the little warlock, No1, sitting on the ledge of his window, and probably climbing up the vines to reach it. Artemis smiled politely, and pulled the bronze clasp open.

"Hello, No1." He said, and helped the demon climb through the window.

"Evening, Artemis. What's this "urgent matter" you needed me to help you with?" He asked shaking off some of the rain from his skin.

"No1, I have a request for you. It involves a lot of your magic, and I don't even know if you can do it. Don't ask why, please, I just need it done." Artemis said pleadingly, now sitting on the bed so he could look his friend in the eye.

No1 looked at Artemis with a confused glare. "What is it?" He asked, as if about to be told a terrible test grade.

"I need you to make me younger. Eleven or twelve years of age." Artemis said matter-of-factly, and No1 just looked at him.

No1 looked down, breaking the gaze, and he looked to the side uneasily. "Artemis, you told me not to ask why, so I won't. But, I just don't know if I can. I've never tried something like that, and I don't even know if it's been done before, and I just don't know what would go wrong if I tried, and I don't even know if I can, and I…"

"No1," Artemis interrupted calmly, "I have faith in you. I know you can do this."

"I just… I… alright." No1 said. "You're going to need some clothes you can fit into, _if_ this does work!"

"I've got a suit I can change into, right here. Do you need some time to, shall we say, warm up?" Artemis said, patting No1 on the head.

"Oh, I'm warmed up. It's okay. I'm always warmed up." He wiggled his fingers and smiled, though seeming a little tense and stressed. He took a deep breath, and muttered.

"Warmed up, prepared, equipped, ready, standing by, set…"

Artemis didn't see what happened in the next few moments, only No1's runes on his skin glowed. His dark bedroom seemed to spin around him as he felt himself shrinking, however, he seemed to feel more rejuvenated. Light encircled him, and No1's focused face appeared from time to time.

Finally, after the last flash of light, he saw No1, on the ground, breathing heavily. He looked a little bigger, and Artemis turned around to look at himself in the mirror on his armoire. He smiled. No1 had done it. He smiled and saw the twelve-year-old Artemis he remembered from all those years ago, standing in oversized, brown, silk pajamas like a child playing dress up.

"Artemis," he heard No1's little voice say. "I'm guessing you don't want me to tell Holly."

Artemis, now in his suit, ran downstairs. "Mother," he called, feeling as childish as ever. Angeline's footsteps audibly clicked on the tile kitchen floor as she came closer to where Artemis was standing.

"Arty, dear, what's wrong with your voice, you sound like you're about twelve…"

And then she saw him.

"God…" she muttered, and covered her mouth. Suddenly her eyes beat with ferocity and she raised her voice. "Artemis Stefan Connor Fowl, what on _earth_ have you just done?"

"Mother, I wanted to see this wizard world from a child's point of view. I wanted to see Hogwarts. I want to be a part of this family, too." Artemis smiled, and felt like he was experiencing the childhood he never had.

"Artemis, this isn't good… did you use…" she paused, bent down to meet her son at eye level, like she hadn't for years, and spoke quietly. "Fairy magic?"

"Yes, Mother, and now I can go to Hogwarts!" He said excitedly, and wondered how unintelligent he sounded.

Angeline covered her mouth and stared at her son with her big brown eyes. "Artemis…"

Artemis tried to smile, but couldn't help but feel the disappointment in his mother's eyes. He looked away and saw his father's wand on the kitchen table, where he had left it earlier, and an idea popped into his head, but before he could act, his mother sighed.

"I'm going to talk to your father about this, Arty, and while I'm talking, you'd had better sweep this kitchen clean." Angeline said, almost angrily, and shoved the sleek, green and white, industrial style broom into her son's hands. As she walked away, Artemis eyed the wand once more and looked at his mother.

"Mother?" He asked, and Angeline stopped.

"Yes, Artemis?" She responded, sounding annoyed.

"Mother, I've replenished my magic, maybe I can use Father's wand to do something like Dumbledore did," he said, less childlike. Without thinking, he reached across his mother's shoulder and grabbed the wand.

"Arty, don't…!" Angeline argued, but it was too late by the time she grabbed his wrist.

"_Lumos!_" he shouted, holding the wand, and a huge light burst from the wand, much brighter than Dumbledore's was supposed to be. The light exploded from his hand and the wand fell to the ground. The light swirled around the room, knocking things off of the counters with crashing noises.

As the crashing stopped and the light decreased, his mother shook his head. "Artemis, you don't understand," she said, and the light died out, bumping into a cabinet and finally disintegrating.

Artemis was hurt by this, however nonetheless excited that he had made something come out of the wand. "But, I…"

However he was interrupted. Suddenly the house was overcome with darkness and everything became cold. He felt uneasily dreary, and he looked at his mother's concerned face. "Oh, no, how can they be here…?" She muttered, and a crashing noise came through the front door. Through the doorway glided a large, darkly cloaked figure. Obviously inhuman.

"Artemis, get on the broom." His mother said suddenly.

He lost focus, shaking his head and throwing his glance barely off this... thing. "W-what?" He questioned shakily.

"I said, get on the broom. You can do that much with your father's wand, you can fly on that broom and get out of here." She said, reaching into her apron pocket to get her wand.

"M-mother, what is that?" He asked like a scared child in a storm.

"It's a dementor, now get on the broom, kick off, and fly. Now." She said, and held out her wand, and the dementor lunged for her.

"_Expecto Patronum!" _She screamed, and Artemis didn't look to see what would happen. He felt unbelievably idiotic as he swung one leg over the broomstick and jumped into the air. He thought he was going to come crashing down, however, when he opened his eyes, he was flying out the open kitchen window on a broomstick.

"What on earth…" he said, and felt the wind rushing past him as he flew away.

"Myles! Beckett! Run!" He shouted, hoping they could hear him as he zoomed in circles above the house.

Beckett poked his head out the window in time to see Artemis fly away, and laughed because he obviously had no idea how to fly.

"Dementor!" He shouted, and suddenly Beckett's face turned pale as it disappeared behind the trees.


	3. Chapter 3 Flight

Artemis was struggling to keep himself on the broom. It was at least one in the morning, and he hadn't stopped flying. He didn't even know where he was, he was fairly certain he'd crossed the Irish Sea, if he was even flying in straight line. He didn't think it was wise to fall asleep on a broom, but he was shifting uncomfortably because, well, as any wizard knows, having a long, thin stick between your legs for too long tends to hurt more than a little.

Why hadn't he figured this out before? His family? Wizards? He should have seen it. But why should he have noticed? It's not like it's a normal family secret. It's just so unreal... what is that below me? He let his thoughts get away from him as he looked down and saw some sort of train tracks, black streaks throughout the faded blue landscape below him.

_Train tracks? Stay awake, Fowl, and follow them. You can't get lost now. _

Artemis attempted to do a small dive so he could follow the train tracks easily, but he dove more than he wanted and just about drove himself into the iron bars on the ground. Ugh… this was harder than he expected. After watching in horror as his feet fall below him and drag the ground lightly for a moment, he regained balance and took a deep breath, continuing down the tracks.

After what was probably another hour, he saw a small light in the distance. He attempted to fly towards the light along the tracks as best he could, and attempted not to let himself nod off in the dark of the night.

He watched the light grow larger, turning into several lights, and a small village appeared. No, a large village. It kept… growing. The snow covered roof of each and every house seemed to grow bigger and bigger… and he… couldn't… stop… nodding…

-_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus-_

Artemis woke up in a set of warm, soft, felt pajamas, in a cozy bed with white sheets and a green blanket. It was so comforting compared to the cold he had felt hours earlier. He rolled onto his side and buried his face in the blanket, feeling like a small child.

As he tried to fall asleep again, he was nearly there when he heard voices from another room, or maybe the same, he couldn't tell, he didn't bother to open his eyes.

"Bea, this isn't a good idea, do you even know who he is?" Said a male voice with a British accent.

"I don't know, Gerard, but he was on the tracks last night with a broom… I assumed he was ill or dead tired." Said a female voice, presumably Bea, also with a British accent. Her voice sounded full and old and bouncy.

"Bea, should I go wake him up, just to see who he is?" Gerard said quietly and hopefully.

"Go ahead, but I'm coming too, I want to find out who this boy is." Bea said, and footsteps were headed towards him.

A moment later he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw a tall, thin man with a blonde goatee bending down to see him. "G'mornin', sleepin' beauty. Time to rise and shine."

Artemis immediately bolted up and looked at the pair. The woman, Bea, wore a pink dress and an off-white apron, a pompous woman with rosy red cheeks and blonde-orange hair tied up in a bun.

"Where am I?" He demanded. Bea laughed.

"You're in my apartment in Diagon Alley. I found you on the train tracks outside Hogsmeade last night, and took you home via floo powder. Now, the real question is, who are you?" Bea answered.

"I'm Artemis Fowl. The second."

Their eyes immediately widened. "You're a Fowl? That explains the hair, then." Gerard said. "What were you doing at two in the morning, flying alone to Hogsmeade on a Green Streaker 2.0?"

"What?" Artemis asked, then shook his head. "Sorry… I mean… I just… my home –"

"…Fowl Manor, you mean." Gerard interrupted.

Artemis, annoyed, continued. "…yes, Fowl Manor. It was attacked by Dementoids,"

"…Dementors, you mean." Gerard interrupted again.

"Merlin's Beard, Gerard, shut up! Let the boy finish!" Bea shouted, and Gerard quieted down, and they both turned their gaze back to Artemis.

Artemis, extremely annoyed, but grateful for Bea, again tried to finish. "…yes, Dementors attacked us, and Mother told me to fly away. I don't know what happened to my parents or my brothers, but I assumed they're alright… Father is… experienced."

Artemis wasn't sure how any of that sounded, but he tried to sound confident. It seemed harder now that he was younger. He hoped that Gerard and Bea would accept the truth. Bea looked at him with worry, and Gerard just looked to the side and angrily fumed. "I'm sending a letter to Fudge about this. Dementors, in Fowl Manor? I don't think so."

Gerard stood himself up and angrily stomped out of the room, adjusting his suit as he passed.

Bea shook her head. "We'll get you taken care of. I'll take you to get some supplies, assuming you're going to Hogwarts."

Artemis yawned and stretched his arms. _How undignified,_ he thought. But oddly, he realized, he didn't care.


	4. Chapter 4 Unicorn

Artemis redressed in his suit, which Bea had so kindly washed for him. He looked around the room he was in, seeing odd knickknacks on the shelves. Old books and bottles were randomly placed, and Artemis had taken an odd liking to it. He glanced around more, and heard Bea knock on the door.

"Artemis, dear, are you dressed?" She asked.

"Yes, do come in." He replied, and continued looking around.

Bea cracked the door open, and waddled over to him. She immediately began smoothing his hair down. "Artemis, dear, your hair is a mess."

Artemis tried not to fight back and just stood there. "I would appreciate it if you stopped." He said, sounding more like the child he was when he was really twelve.

"Oh, sorry, just, my boy…" Bea just stared at Artemis longingly, and she shook her head. "Sorry, you just remind me of my son, Destin. Anyway, Gerard sent your parents an owl, and I just got a reply from them. They said that money was on its way for your school supplies."

As if on cue, a pair of owls flew in the window, desperately fluttering their wings, carrying a large black bag. They dropped it on the floor and quickly turned around and flew off.

Artemis was shocked, and he dove down to grab the bag. It was heavy, and full of many individual items. He pulled it open, and stared into it.

"_Aurum Est Potestas…"_ he muttered, and pulled out one of the hundreds of galleons.

-_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus-_

"This is Ollivanders," said Bea excitedly. "An amazing wand shop, since I know you're going to ask." He had been asking about the names of shops all day long, and Bea was rather annoyed, but she understood. She had read the note. She knew he was a squib.

She directed Artemis through the front door, and he read the sign as best as he could as he was shoved to the counter. He turned his head to Bea. "Since three eighty-two B.C.? That's not really possible, is it?" He asked.

"Of course it is, boy," said a voice from behind the counter, and Artemis jumped a little. He turned his head to see an old man with insanely frazzled white hair and thought lines all over his face. "Sorry to startle you," he continued. "Come to try out a wand?"

"Yes, he has, Ollivander, and we've got to go quickly, it's getting late." Bea interrupted.

"Bea! It's so nice to see you again!" Mr. Ollivander said, and offered a handshake, but Bea crossed her arms and tilted her head in Artemis's direction.

"Alright, then," Mr. Ollivander said, and looked back down at Artemis. "What's your name, for starters?"

"Artemis Fowl the Second." He said without hesitation, taking in the sight around him. Boxes upon boxes of wands, thin and new, and he was eager to get one of his own.

_What is your problem, Fowl! _Said a voice in his head. _You're so immature! No1 didn't really change your age, just your appearance, did he? _

"…prominent wizard family, I suggest you do what he wants." Bea said, and Artemis shook his head, knowing that he hadn't caught the majority of the speech.

"Alright, Bea, calm down. So, boy, you look like you would need unicorn hair in your wand," Mr. Ollivander said, focusing back on Artemis. He then turned around, looked up, and wiggled his finger, mentally searching for something. He pulled his own wand out of his robe and waved it. A ladder came flying towards him, and he grabbed it when it nearly passed him. He began climbing, and nearly made it to the top of the 20-foot room. He then grabbed a yellow box, long and thin, and dropped it.

"Catch," he said, and began climbing back down. Artemis knew he had little to know athletic ability, but his hand-eye coordination was decent, and it barely allowed him enough talent to catch it, grabbing it only by the tip of the box.

"Should I open the box?" Artemis asked, watching him get to the bottom of the ladder and turn around.

"Yes, yes, go ahead. Unicorn hair, reed wood, twelve and a half inches, relatively springy." Mr. Ollivander said, taking in deep breaths.

Artemis pulled the top off of the box and set it on the counter. Gently pulling out the wand, carved with various notches, he held it firmly in his hand.

"Go on, give it a flick," Mr. Ollivander said, and Artemis looked at the wand longingly. Shakily, he gave it a wave, moving the tip no more than a couple of inches, but the wand shook violently, and Bea's hair began to sway back and forth. Bea laughed, but her hair then stood out on end, before being pulled by something invisible and she came toppling down.

Mr. Ollivander pulled the wand out from Artemis's hand, and hastily and nervously put it back in the box. "No, no, not a good idea. Not for you. I guess I'll do this the old-fashioned way, Artemis, when is your birthday?" He shoved the wand box under the counter.

Artemis, confused, said, "September first…?" And Mr. Ollivander nodded.

"Ah, that explains a lot. Come with me." He waved his hand and Artemis was inclined to follow, making sure Bea was right behind him.

"This is a little ridiculous, Mr. Ollivander, why can't I just pick a wand I think is visually appealing?" Artemis asked.

Mr. Ollivander laughed and led them down several winding hallways and corridors filled with stacks and stacks of wands. "There's something odd about you, Artemis. Now… let me see… hazel wood… here we go. This one… I haven't been able to sell this one for thirty years. The last person who tried to buy it ended up being a squib, so it was returned to me. Give it a try."

Artemis, even more frightened than he already was, took the box and opened it. Long, white, twisted, and at the top of the wand there was a carved horse head. The handle was round and curved, perfect for holding. "It's a chess piece," he mused, pulling it out of the box. It felt light and able in his hand, but something wasn't quite right.

Mr. Ollivander smiled. "You like it? Unicorn hair, hazel wood with quartz, fourteen inches, stable and firm. One of the few we have that's covered with quartz."

"It's simply stunning," Artemis said, not taking his mismatched eyes off of it. "It just doesn't feel right."

Mr. Ollivander laughed, and took it out of Artemis's right hand. He then carefully placed it in his left, and secured his grip around it. "Give it a try, now."

Artemis, curious and slightly pessimistic about the idea, hesitated, and then gave it a wave. Sparks flew out the horse's mouth, and galloped around the wand, and flew back into the mouth of the horse, and then, looking closer, he realized it was a unicorn.

"May I… keep it?" Artemis asked, looking up with big eyes at Mr. Ollivander. He felt childlike, and when he realized how pathetic he must have looked, he shook his head and stood up straight. _What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like such a child? _"I'll take it." He said, without looking back at Mr. Ollivander.

Mr. Ollivander laughed. "There's something strange about you, Artemis. I like it."


	5. Chapter 5 Express

Artemis, with all required supplies for his attendance at Hogwarts, was anxiously waiting for the moment when he was going to be taken there. He didn't know how one got to such a place, or what it looked like, nor of the existence of the Hogwarts Express.

He hadn't been this anxious since the time his father was rescued and brought to the hospital in Helsinki. He waited for the moment when his father would again open his eyes. He felt this same tension now.

He, in fact, woke up at nearly five in the morning. He couldn't go back to sleep. He was just waiting for Gerard and/or Bea to wake up. He tried to focus on getting the proper grip on his wand, but a thought kept nudging at the back of his mind.

_Why are you acting so childish?_

He was at war with himself. Half of him tried to ignore it completely, the other half tried to embrace it. His mind was torn nearly in half. Instinct was telling him to knock it off, his conscious mind was telling him to follow his heart. His heart, in fact, was so disoriented that it hardly could discern itself from his liver.

Finally, some sort of wizardly alarm clock went off in a nearby room, and Gerard and Bea could be heard trying to silence it in an almost violent manner. After a minute or two, Gerard bust open Artemis's room and sang rather terribly:

_Wake up, wake up!_

_It's time to rise and shine!_

_If you don't feel like awaking soon,_

_Your galleons shall be mine!_

Artemis looked at the man strangely, and it took a moment for Gerard to register that Artemis was already awake. "Well, the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! Let's get on that train."

-_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus-_

Artemis wasn't exactly sure what this train remark meant, but it seemed that within moments they were in a train station in London, and Gerard was telling him to run at the wall between platforms nine and ten.

"You've got to be joking, why don't I just dance like a monkey and juggle some light bulbs?" Artemis scoffed. He was already annoyed by the fact that his owl had slept all night and was now making an incredible amount of noise. He hadn't even picked out a name, yet.

"Trust me, Artemis," Gerard said, leaning down to talk quietly to the boy. "You didn't think you were a wizard, you didn't think you could fly on a broomstick, and now you don't think you can walk through this wall. Go, Arty."

Arty was rather annoyed that Gerard dare call him Arty, but his fatherly appearance seemed to make up for it, Artemis thought. He did trust Gerard, so, with hardly any second thoughts, he gripped the handle and walked through the wall between platforms nine and ten.

He saw a large steam-powered train in front of him. In gold, capital letters, he saw what was written on the side of the train.

THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS

-_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus-_

_Artemis shakily and clumsily put his bags up into the compartment above the seats. There were many divided seating areas, and the one Artemis was in was empty besides himself. He had another divided mind on this issue – half of him desperately wanted to be left alone, the other half desperately wanted more people to come join him. His actions were so tense that he was almost cracking up and bursting with tears simultaneously._

_He knew that in the end, one side would win. It was his social side._

A boy walked in clumsily. He had oddly brown hair, to the point Artemis didn't think that it was possible for hair to be that brown. His physique was muscular-ish, he seemed about Artemis's age. He carried a single bag. A very tiny one at that.

He smiled in a… well… oddly frightening way. He looked stressed. "Sorry," he said, "Everywhere else is full. Do you mind?"

_At least he's being polite, _Artemis thought. "Yes, go ahead. It's getting a little lonely."

The boy smiled and half-nodded in thanks. "Well, that's what you get when your older sister doesn't want to use charms to fix her hair." He spoke in an accent that was half-French, half-Russian. His English seemed trained, as if it was his first language.

Artemis smirked and tried to appear amused, though he didn't understand if it was a joke or not. He had a feeling it was going to be like this for a while, until he had a full understanding of this wizarding world he had stepped into.

_I hope I can make friends with him, _said a small voice in the back of his head. Artemis stood up straight, and wanted to punch himself. _Since when do you care if you can make friends! Why are you suddenly asking for approval? What is wrong with you!_

The boy noticed Artemis's sudden movement, and he turned to him. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Artemis stuttered a little, thinking of an excuse, noticing his reaction time was much slower than usual. "I… I… I just thought I forgot my… broom, but it's right here…" he shook it off and plopped down in a velvet-covered seat with his wand in hand.

The boy smiled, and he too took his wand out of his navy blue coat pocket. He cleared his throat and pointed his wand at his little bag. "_Windgardium Leviosa,_" he said, and the bag slowly levitated, until it reached the shelf.

Artemis immediately recognized this as the spell Dumbledore had used. He tried to hold back his childish impulse to say so, but instead he simply sat back and smiled, attempting to be friendly. "Impressive," Artemis stated. "Is this your first time going to Hogwarts?" He figured he might as well make friendly conversations while he still can.

"Well, yes, actually, I'm just running over some basics, you know?" The boy smiled, sat down, and looked at his wand, when suddenly two other boys appeared in the doorway, both with blonde hair that was practically yellow. Upon closer look he realized that they were twins, both having the same gray eye color and soft facial features.

"Lysander Scamander," said one, nodding.

"Lorcan Scamander," said the other. Then one sat down by Artemis, and the other practically mirrored him sitting next to the other boy. They both smiled quietly – if you can smile quietly. Their eyes were wide open, as if they were always like that to begin with.

"Hello," the anonymous boy said, as if this was perfectly normal behavior. "I'm Brend Baggarstreet." Then, Brend, as his name was, turned to Artemis. "I don't think I ever got your name?" He half-asked.

Artemis stuck his hand into the middle of the train compartment. "Artemis Fowl," he said. As he did, another boy walked into the compartment. He too, had blonde hair, but his was nearly white.

"Hopefully Father was right when he said that they've at least expanded these back compartments here," the boy said with a strong British accent. He then daringly took Artemis's hand and shook it. "Scorpius Malfoy," the boy said, lowering his pointy pale chin a small bit. He could have been Artemis's twin had he not had such wild blonde hair or deep gray eyes.

"Well, hello," Artemis said, a little shocked. "I'm Artemis Fowl." He repeated, knowing Scorpius could not have heard the first time. The train began moving.

Scorpius smiled. "Ah, a Fowl. Pleased to meet you." He finished shaking his hand, and turned to the rest of the boys accordingly. "And Brend. Lysander, Lorcan, how are all of you?" He asked.

Lysander looked at him in a puzzled way. "You're being awfully polite, Malfoy."

"Quite." Lorcan simply said. Scorpius pulled his wand out of his sleeve and he, too, used magic to get his bag on the above shelf.

As he did so with the rest of his bags and the others' as well, he gave an explanation that seemed good enough for Artemis. "Father told me I had to be polite. Not to make any enemies, since he said that he did on his first year at Hogwarts."

Artemis tried to keep quiet. He wasn't sure if he would make a fool of himself.

"Ah, well, I suppose that's good enough. What about James?" Brend said, and Artemis again felt like an outsider. Who was James?"

"Potter? I suppose I'll have to make some sort of… truce. Father would like that." Scorpius suddenly reminded Artemis of himself whenever he was twelve. The first time, that is. Trying to please his father, or do what his father would want him to do. Perhaps he should get to know him.

"Wait, Artemis, are you one of the Fowl twins?" Lysander suddenly inquired after a few moments of conversation between the other boys.

Artemis froze. He hadn't been expecting that. "Oh, actually, I'm… a year older. I just… I was too young to go last year. But they're not." He hoped this excuse would work, he didn't have time to do the math in his head to see if the months would add up correctly. Apparently this worked with the other boys, because none of them seemed to question it.

"I see," Lorcan said, eyes as wide as they were before.

"What are your brothers' names, again?" Scorpius asked. "Father told me to be friendly to them, but I forgot who they were."

Artemis noticed all eyes were on him. "Myles and Beckett. But I haven't seen them for a week or so. I've been staying with… a friend… in Diagon Alley, I had to fly away since some Dementors appeared at home. I don't know how it turned out, Mother and Father told me to just fly away."

Brend was leaning forward with interest. "Dementors! At your home? Why would they be there?"

Scorpius folded his arms. "Father said that Fudge is getting too old for this job. Probably let them loose. We should go look for them. Would you like to?"

Lysander turned to Brend, on his right. "It seems like nobody likes Fudge right about now. He's not even as old as Dumbledore and he's losing his marbles."

"Yes," Lorcan said, amusing himself. It was clear there were a lot of thoughts going on in his head.

Brend laughed. "Well, Malfoy, you take Artemis to find his brothers. We'll stay here to make sure nobody takes your seat."

"Thanks," Malfoy said, and turned back to Artemis. The two of them stood up and Malfoy opened the door. He tossed Brend a coin. "Get us some chocolate frogs while we're gone." His blonde hair disappeared out the door, and Artemis followed it.


	6. Chapter 6 Arrival

Artemis hoped that Scorpius Malfoy didn't know enough about his family to realize that they had an extra son, and he certainly hoped that Scorpius Malfoy wouldn't know enough about this extra son to find out he was a squib. He held his breath with every step. He knew something was wrong; he shouldn't be this silent around strangers.

Malfoy led him to the next compartment over, and knocked on the door. "We'll just check each compartment one by one until we can find someone who knows where your brothers are."

Artemis nodded in agreement and the doors opened. There was a group of four girls sitting before them, two of which were already wearing black robes with a yellow stitching and a yellow badge Artemis didn't get a good look at.

"Ah, well, they aren't here," Scorpius said to Artemis. Then the blonde boy turned to the rest of the girls and said, "Excuse me, but have any of you seen either of the Fowl twins?"

Three of the girls shrugged. The fourth one in a blue and black robe who had opened the door and was still standing there, looked up in thought. "Wait, are they first years?" She asked.

With hope, Artemis replied, "Yes, Beckett and Myles."

The girl pointed down to the left, the opposite direction they had come. "Oh, well, the first years have all seemed to congregate in that general direction, towards the far end. Especially the boys. Good luck with that."

Artemis smiled. "Thank you, really, thank you." The girl nodded and closed the door. Scorpius and Artemis quickly walked in that area. Artemis admired the way Scorpius's robe flowed behind him when he walked. He wondered if all wizards had that ability to look awesome with flowing robes.

He tried to ignore the voice that remarked about his childishness this time, but it was difficult to push it away. He replaced the thought with one of his brothers, smiling and laughing. He felt the childish actions slip right through him now, as if he had dropped them on the ground and left them.

Scorpius began to slow down, finally reaching the end of the train. "Alright, let's take a look around. I'll ask people if they've seen them."

Artemis nodded again and silently thanked Scorpius for his friendliness. Nobody had ever been this nice to him. He looked around for Beckett's curly red-gold hair – he had inherited it from his grandmother on his mother's side. Artemis could easily pick it out of a crowd, much more simply than Myles's slicked back darker hair, much like Artemis's own. As the genius looked around, he spotted a puffy gold halo and headed toward it.

He touched the shoulder of the boy with the hair, and looked down at his face. "Beckett?" Artemis said automatically. It wasn't Beckett. It wasn't even a boy.

"The name is Clara," said the girl in an aggravated tone. "Beckett is over there." She pointed towards a boy sitting in the far corner next to the window, looking drowsily outside.

"Beckett!" Artemis cried, not bothering to thank the girl, all embarrassment leaving him. The boy looked up, and his face lit up with joy.

"Artemis?" Beckett said. "You look… like you're twelve years old!" Artemis ran to sit by his brother and tried to silence him. "It's a little magic trick I learned. I wanted to come to Hogwarts too."

Beckett looked at his brother in shock and disbelief, but happiness still remained. "Artemis, that's… unbelievable. Geez, are you serious!"

Artemis threw his arms around his baby brother and nearly sobbed. He hadn't cried for a long, long time. "I'm really glad you're safe. What happened to the dementor! Mother and Father? Myles!"

For the next while he bombarded Beckett with questions. He shortly after was reunited with Myles, who helped his impatient brothers answer questions. They're parents had survived the dementor attack, much thanks to his mother's quick thinking butterfly patronus. Whatever that was, Artemis didn't know. He assumed it stopped dementors.

The entire family was safe, and they had been contacting Bea and Gerard. Artemis decided he was going to fully repay them somehow. He had just started to brainstorm ideas when the train came to a stop.

-_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus-_

After all the first years had ridden across the lake in the boats – Artemis had ridden with Brend, Scorpius, his brothers, and the Scamander twins – they arrived at the large doors of Hogwarts.

Artemis's genius side was admiring the gothic architecture. The sheer beauty of the entire castle stood before him, and he had little time to realize that there were ghosts floating around and candles were in the air above him when they entered the great hall.

All the first years were lined up against the right wall of the great hall. Four, long wooden tables were in the great hall, each with students sitting and talking about a variety of different things. The conversations Artemis managed to hear made no sense to him.

"I'm really hoping to make the quidditch team this year…"

"When's the first trip to Hogsmeade?"

"Oh, come on, Nimbus Two-Thousands aren't even cool anymore."

The endless sky above them showing the heavens in a manner that intrigued Artemis so much that he hardly had time to listen to the great Albus Dumbledore talk about anything, even though the rest of the hall was silenced. His brothers tried to get him to pay attention, but he was so amazed at the rest of the room he could barely focus.

"Yvette Appletracer," was the first name that an elderly lady called. The lady had a green dress, a pointy black hat, and a wrinkled face. The girl, Yvette, proudly stood up and walked up to the platform the lady was standing on. The lady placed an old, wrinkled, brown and gray hat upon her hat. The hat, when placed on her head, began to move! And then it spoke!

"Let's see… I've got to go with… Gryffindor!"

Suddenly there were shouts and cheers from the third table farthest from the first years. The girl smiled and walked down to join the table, apparently the Gryffindor table. What was Gryffindor? Artemis was ashamed at his ignorance.

"Brend Baggarstreet," the lady then announced. Brend moved from Artemis's side and sat in the chair the lady held the hat over. The hat seemed to smile, if hats could smile. "Easy… Ravenclaw!" The table on the farthest end of the hall erupted in shouts and applause.

One by one the names of the first years were called. The other two options were Slytherin and Hufflepuff, neither of which Artemis was familiar with. Turning to Beckett, who was applauding, he asked, "What are they even doing?"

Beckett looked at him in disbelief and Myles elbowed him. "Professor McGonagall is sorting the students of course; to find out what house they're going to be a member of. Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor. There's nothing in your head the sorting hat can't see. The sorting hat finds your strongest qualities related to one of the houses and puts you in the corresponding house. Personality is everything. I hope I get Ravenclaw…" Myles said, and his voice trailed off and his eyes glazed over with hope.

Then, suddenly, the world came crashing down on Artemis's back. Professor McGonagall read the next name on the list. "Artemis Fowl," she announced. Everyone turned to look at the dark-haired boy. He was frozen solid until Myles pushed him forward. He shakily went up to the sorting hat and Professor McGonagall. She smiled at him and placed the hat on his head as soon as he sat down.

The hat said nothing. Everyone was silent. The hat slowly seemed to stiffen and stand up on his head. "Artemis Fowl…" he said. "You are a hard boy to decipher. Many secrets are hidden within your head. Allow me to think for a moment." The hat was silent again. Artemis looked up with worry to McGonagall. She looked down at him and shrugged. His logical mind took over again, and he began to think it was absurd that they were using inanimate objects to look inside the minds of children.

"Artemis…" the hat said after a few more moments. "I cannot sort you. To do so would be an impossible task. You have great ambition, and are willing to do whatever you must, like the cunning Slytherins," the Slytherin table burst out with cheers. "But you also seek intelligence, like the wise Ravenclaws," now the Ravenclaw table had exploded. "Yet you are fair and just, like the loyal Hufflepuffs," the Hufflepuff table applauded. "Though you are also brave, like a proud Gryffindor." The final table, the Gryffindor table, seemed a little put off at being last, but they had cheered the loudest. When they had quieted, the hat spoke up again. "So, I am going to let you _choose_."

The entire student body gasped. Artemis looked up at McGonagall. She was half frozen as well. She shakily looked over to Professor Dumbledore. Artemis was suddenly glad to have his security.

Dumbledore stepped forward. "We shall do as the sorting hat says. Artemis, I would like you to remember this, and use it to _sort yourself._"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, and began tor recite something. Older students joined in, as well as the teachers and the sorting hat itself.

"You might belong in Gryffindor,  
>Where dwell the brave at heart,<br>Their daring, nerve and chivalry  
>Set Gryffindors apart;<br>You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
>Where they are just and loyal,<br>Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
>And unafraid of toil;<br>Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
>If you've a steady mind,<br>Where those of wit and learning,  
>Will always find their kind;<br>Or perhaps in Slytherin  
>You'll make your real friends,<br>Those cunning folk use any means  
>To achieve their ends.<p>

So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
>And don't get in a flap!<br>You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
>For I'm a Thinking Cap!"<p>

After they were finished, Artemis sat there with a stunned look on his face. "I have to choose myself?" He asked. Dumbledore smiled and gave him a look that said I-know-that-you-have-no-idea-what-any-of-this-is-but-you-just-gotta-go-with-it.

"Ambitious," Artemis said quietly. Oddly enough the Slytherin table heard him and again cheered.

"Proud," he said, and the Gryffindor table cheered louder than the Slytherins.

"Intelligent," he said, getting quieter. The Ravenclaw table screamed.

"Loyal," he said, nearly silent. The Hufflepuff table erupted.

A voice in the back of his head, a childish one, said, _"Jerks, jocks, nerds, and wussies. Take your pick."_

He shook off the voice and looked up at the hat. "I… I choose…"


	7. Chapter 7 Sorting

"Ambitious." Artemis said aloud. The Slytherin table, all in black and green robes erupted in a mass chaos of joy. The Fowl boy had a chance to choose his own house, and he chose _theirs_! They all felt so proud they could be classified as Gryffindors.

Who, by the way, were NOT happy. They were infuriated that he had chosen their rivals, because the majority of them were jerks, and they didn't need another one to convert to their religion of bullying and spite.

The Ravenclaws were disappointed, but not as angered as the Gryffindors. Rumors had already spread around about Artemis's intelligence, and they were a little disheartened that he was eager to succeed than be eager to learn. Too bad he was a Slytherin.

The Hufflepuffs were put out. They didn't think it was fair that he could choose his own house to begin with. Such a thing had never been done, and to choose the Slytherin was to choose his own demise.

Dumbledore had to raise his hands for silence from the Slytherins' cheers and the Gryffindors' booing, and he turned to Artemis, who was confused.

The Sorting Hat was the first to speak. "He hasn't chosen." He said. Suddenly the entire hall was focused on the hat. Nobody made a sound. Nobody took a breath. Not even Neville Longbottom, sitting at the professor's table, managed to cough.

The hat straightened itself up. Then he cleared his throat – or whatever it was that served as a throat. Then he opened his mouth, and shouted. "He has chosen Ravenclaw!"

Then, three tables in the hall jumped up from their seats in a fit of applause. The Slytherin table was utterly disgusted. They went on to silently fume for a while.

Professor McGonagall smiled, taking the hat off of his head, and he went to go sit with the table that was still clapping and cheering – Ravenclaw.

Artemis sat down at the far end of the table next to Brend, who was ecstatic. "Artemis! How did you…? Why are you…! What is…!" Then he just made little noises to keep from screaming in disbelief. Half of the Ravenclaw table turned to say hello, the other half was still focused.

One older girl, the one they had seen on the train, turned to Artemis. She was only sitting a few seats over. "You don't know how scary that was, Artemis. The past couple of years we've lost some potentially great wizards to Slytherin. Ravenclaw has been smaller than usual lately, and we're glad you chose us. Welcome to the club. I'm Zelia Newstep." She shook his hand and then both were thrown off guard when the table erupted again. "Yes! Another new addition."

None other than Myles Fowl came to sit next to Brend and Artemis. He looked shaky and happy and scared all at the same time. "Artemis, did you hear? Beckett is in Gryffindor! Figures, he's kinda headstrong. You know Mother was in Hufflepuff and Father was in Slytherin? Most families all fall into one house, but we're spread out! Weird, right!" Myles was practically shouting from sheer anxiousness.

"Calm down, Myles, please. I want to see where people end up." Artemis said. His brother could've bounced off a wall he was so jittery.

"Stephania Galecollar." The next name was called. The hat pointed her to Slytherin. Artemis caught himself staring at her gracefully walk towards the back of the Slytherin table, almost in slow motion. He shook his head and turned around. Brend was too, as was his brother. He turned Myles around to look at the wall rather than the girl.

Myles frowned. "She's part Veela, I can tell."

"What?" Artemis said, but he heard the Hufflepuff table roar.

"Congratulations, Madison!" said a brown-haired girl to another, who looked like a miniature version of her. Siblings.

Artemis had a hard time paying attention, all he knew was that there were a lot of people going to Gryffindor, and that Clara girl who looked like Beckett from the back ended up in Slytherin.

Until, that is, they got to someone he knew. Scorpius Malfoy was sorted into Slytherin, not to anyone's surprise; his father HAD been a death eater. Or had he? Rumors were really all anyone used as a source.

"Isli Moonbeam." McGonagall said, and a girl with large gray-blue eyes came up to put the Sorting Hat on. She had silvery hair to match her eyes, and there was an otherworldly look to her.

The hat mused for a moment. "Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff."

She closed her eyes tight and she spoke in an odd voice that was part French, part Ukrainian, as Artemis identified. It was high pitched and soft. "I like Ravenclaw, but I don't know if I could handle the pressure of Ravenclaw…!" Nobody was sure if she meant to say it aloud or not.

"Hufflepuff!" The Hat shouted. She walked with an odd gliding look to her seat. Artemis looked around and her and the many other people and thought of how oddly diverse this school was.

Lysander and Lorcan both ended up in Ravenclaw, like their mother, they explained – actually, it was mostly Lysander.

The last person Artemis was interested in hearing was this Albus Potter he heard Scorpius talking about. Brend said that he had been paranoid about ending up in Slytherin, and Artemis understood why. It appeared that the Gryffindors hated the Slytherins with a passion, and vice versa. Always trying to show the other up.

"Gryffindor!" The hat shouted. Albus suddenly looked relieved. He slumped over with a smile and quickly ran up to join his older brother, James, at the Gryffindor table. After a few more words from Dumbledore and a horribly sung song, a tall young lady came to the back of the Ravenclaw table, with a fancy gold badge on her robe.

"Hello, first-years. I'm Ella Kresser, head girl of Ravenclaw. Please follow me up to the dormitories, ask me any questions you may have!" She said a little too vaguely and happily, and Artemis was suddenly confused.

"Wait, what?" He asked Myles.

"We're going to the dorms. Prepare to see the coolest thing you'll ever lay those mismatched eyes on." He said. They got up from the table, walked for a minute following Ella, and then Myles turned back around. "Wait, aren't your eyes _both _blue?"


	8. Chapter 8 Dormitories

The entire castle of Hogwarts seemed impossible to Artemis. The laws of physics didn't match up with what was happening, and there was certainly no David Copperfield going on here. It bewildered him - scared him even - to think that staircases that were so top heavy could be supported and _moved _on nothing but air. He was close to the front of the crowd, so Ella was directing them all away from stairs that were only mirages. Myles almost fell through once or twice, and Brend pulled him up each time, since Artemis wasn't nearly strong enough.

The Gryffindors disappeared up a seperate staircase, the Slytherins long gone (they had followed a tall, dark-haired, mean-looking professor into the basement), and the Hufflepuffs headed off down a coridoor. When the large group of Ravenclaw students had finally made it to the fifth floor, Ella and another tall boy led them down dimly lit hallway. The boy courteously opened a door for Ella and the rest of them, revealing a tall, tightly wound spiral staircase.

The trek upwards was almost unbearable, but Artemis assumed he would get used to the strenuous activity eventually. He didn't even realize he had gotten to the top until he bumped into Brend at the top, where a large room with a single door stood infront of them. On the door was a large knocker made of a golden metal, and Ella reached for it. "To enter the common room, you must correctly answer the question given to you. Only knock once, or get two questions. Of course, some of you may enjoy that." She eyed the tall boy before she threw the knocker against the door only once.

There was a creaking sound before a voice coming from the knocker spoke, much to Artemis's complete shock. "Greetings. Your question is: there are two of me in one, there are four of me in two, I need a word for one of me, and one is standing next to you."

Ella, who was obviously a little confused, wondered what the knocker meant by 'standing next to you'. The boy next to Ella, presumably head boy, said, "Wait, something significant about someone near us."

Artemis could almost see the lightbulb turn on above his head. "A twin." He said, rather loudly. Everyone looked over at him. "It's talking about Myles. He's a twin, one half of a whole. The answer is one half."

"Well done." The knocker said, and the door opened to the dormitory. Everyone flooded in, and Ella congratulated him on his victory with a pat on the back. She directed him in, and the moment he looked inside he stopped moving.

The common room was tall - as in, the height of Fowl Manor tall. Artemis could hardly believe the arched ceilings could support something so tall. He had to remind himself that domes on capitol buildings around the world were taller - but he could still harly believe his eyes.

Around the room, there was a fireplace, several blue velvet couches, and bookshelves galore. Books with odd titles _The Rules of Quidditch - Volume 1498_, _The Convienience of Charms, _and _Been There, Done That: A Guide to Apparation._ The entirety of the room was decorated with blue banners with golden accents. Laterns were lit all around, and even above, chandeliers seemed to float high and low with no chains or wires.

But what Artemis found the most interesting was the ceiling. The entire domed ceiling was a celestial map. This bewildered him, as he had seen no dome on the outside of the castle, and there were staircases that led upwards. Where did they lead to? They were in a tower. Artemis thought that magic was a little beyond him at times.

Ella chuckled. "That was my first reaction as well." She stepped around to face him. "I'm Ella. I'm a seventh-year. You know that, but I think I should personally introduce myself. You are?" She asked as she picked up his hand and shook it.

Artemis unwillingly tore his eyes off the ceiling and focused them on Ella's hazel eyes - thinking they reminded him of Holly's - and gripped her hand in the shake, unwilling to let her just shake his limp appendage. "I'm Artemis Fowl." He stated proudly, expecting Ella to ask him 'isn't that a girl's name?', but instead she just smiled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Artemis. You're Irish?" She asked, seeming to have an American accent.

"Yes, and proud. You're American?" he asked. She chuckled again, and he instantly hoped he hadn't offended her. She was more skilled in magic, obviously being the head girl. She was taller, which was automatically a threat (Artemis wasn't so tall at age twelve), and she was pretty, which meant she had influence.

"Well, my parents were. They moved to Liverpool so I could go to school here - not to mention my Dad is an avid Beatles fan," She smiled brightly. "So I have picked up their accent. I was born in Liverpool, though."

"Very interesting," Artemis mused, and then the tall boy announced that all the boys would need to follow him up the staircases that led to the boy's dormitories. He, Brend, Lysander, Lorcan, and Myles all grouped together and were the first up the stairs.

The head boy stopped the crowd of boys and said, "Second-years and above, please return to the dorms you were in last year." A large crowd of boys passed Artemis's small group, and all continued up the stairs, all stopping on different floors where their bedrooms were. The only ones left standing were the group of five. "These are all the first years? Bloody... you know, Zelia keeps saying that we're losing first-years to Slytherin, and maybe we are, but when I was a first-year there were only three boys. Well, you're close to the bottom of the stairs, here, where the seventh-years used to be. There are five beds in there, perfect for all of you, and your baggage has been delivered there for you. If you need anything, just shout for Thomas and I'll help you. You can also ask Ella, you know her, and Zelia, she's a prefect. Well, good night!"

Thomas seemed rushed. He ran up the stairs to his dormitory, not bothering to hear the five boys reply. Lysander was the first to reach the door, and opened it, waiting for the rest of his friends to enter. Artemis gave a barely audible "thank you" and saw five four-poster beds in a circle, each having a trunk and a cabinent by them. Sure enough, there were all of his belongings right there by the second bed from the door. He was in between Brend and Myles's beds, leaving Lysander and Lorcan on the other side.

"What time is it?" Lysander asked, looking around for a clock.

Brend opened his tiny (but spatious) bag and saw his analog alarm clock sitting on top. "Nine-Oh-Five. Right after curfew."

Myles flung himself down on his bed. "I can't wait to get the schedules tomorrow at breakfast. You think we'll be in any double classes with Gryffindor?"

Brend began to unpack. "I don't know. What's your name, by the way? You're Artemis's brother..." he snapped his fingers like he couldn't remember.

"Myles." He said. "You're...?"

"Brend Baggarstreet. That's Lysander and Lorcan Scamander." He said, motioning towards the twins.

"Hello." Both of them said simultaneously. Then Lysander said, "I'm going to unpack and get organized before tomorrow, that way I'm not hustling to get things done for the next week."

"Good idea," mused Lorcan, and the two of them got to unpacking. Myles and Artemis followed their examples. Minutes passed before anyone said anything.

"Oh, yeah, by the way, happy birthday, Artemis." Myles said, walking over to pat his brother on the back. "You're twenty-f... I mean... twelve! Happy birthday!"

"It's your birthday?" the three other boy's said at once.

Artemis looked up from his stack of books he had just taken out of his bag. "O-oh. I suppose it is. I'd completely lost track of time, I assume. Yes, it is my birthday, isn't it?" He stated, the fact becoming more real each second.

Brend smiled. "Well, then, happy birthday, Artemis!" He reached deep into his bag and pulled out a smaller, clear one, full of multi-colored candies. He tossed the bag to Artemis, who began to untie it. "Why don't you celebrate with some of Bott's Every Flavor Beans! Just steer clear of ALL the green ones. And the brown ones. And the white ones. And the-"

"Thanks, Brend. I'll eat a blue one, how does that sound?" Artemis said, ammused, and popped one into his mouth. He began to chew.

"Wait-Artemis-no...!" Brend said, but it was too late. Artemis was already hacking it up.

"Why in the name of Albert Einstein would anyone create such a horrid thing! That tastes the way cleaning supplies does!" Artemis said, literally trying to scrape the residue off of his now blue tongue.

Lorcan, from across the room, hit himself in the face with his hand. Lysander laughed. "It must be the new Lysol-flavored one. Happy birthday, Artemis."

Artemis and the rest of the boys finished unpacking, all of their things now organized. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed. "Quite." He mused, and turned out the lights.


	9. Chapter 9 Classes

Chapter Nine – Classes

"HEY! WAKE UP! YEAH YOU! WAKE UP! SLEEPY HEAD, SLEEPING BEAUTY, TIME TO RISE AND SHINE! WHY IN THE NAME OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE AREN'T YOU UP! COME ON! GET UP! YOU CAN'T BE LATE LIKE THOSE THIRD-YEARS ARE GOING TO BE! COME ON!"

Artemis turned over and sat up. "What on Earth is that?" He asked, looking around. Looking around, he saw that all of his roommates were all thinking the same thing. Brend laughed, rubbed his eyes, and grabbed his analog clock from the cabinet by his bed. The clock was yelling, and it was seven-thirty on the nose. Brend struggled with his alarm clock before he finally threw it at the floor and it shut up.

Artemis shook his head and smirked as he pulled back the sheets and scooted out of bed. Wizard technology was a little beyond him. Lots of unnecessary things were added into everything, it seemed. He realized this again when he turned around and found the bed had made itself.

"That's new," Myles commented. He and the other boys changed into their new white shirts, put on the blue tie, added the gray vest over it, and finally put on their black robe over it. Artemis thought it was quite a bit of clothing layers, but he also figured that such an old castle didn't have modern heating systems.

Blue and bronze striped scarves, and the blue and bronze striped ties had been delivered to their room overnight, so each new student would have what they needed. Artemis had on a pair of his new black pants, and he felt at home again, like he was wearing a suit.

He looked over at his pointy black hat he had acquired that was sitting on top of the chest at the end of his bed. He walked over to it, all his books in hand, and grabbed it. "Is it required dress code that we wear these?" He asked. Lysander looked up.

"Well, whenever our mum was a student she said she carried it around with her and only wore it when teachers required, but she said it gets in the way a lot." He shrugged. Lorcan did the same.

Artemis looked down at it and folded it up with his one available hand, then pocketed it. "I'll just keep it with me, then." He began to walk out of the room, when Myles tapped him on the shoulder with something. He turned around, and saw his hazel wood and quartz wand with the chess piece atop it.

"You'll need this, Arty." Myles said with a smile. He looked at his brother with those bright brown eyes his mother had.

"Thanks." Artemis said, and placed it in his left hand, gripping it firmly. He thought about asking Myles if he could see what his wand looked like, but he didn't know if that would be considered rude or not, so he decided against it. "What does yours look like?" He automatically asked.

_WHY DID YOU JUST ASK THAT! _He screamed at himself. He had just said he wasn't going to. He wasn't rude and naïve like this. What was doing this to him? Was it Hogwarts that was doing this? Was it No1's magic? No1 was still young in warlock terms; perhaps his childishness had affected him. He really hoped he hadn't offended Myles. He didn't know any wizard etiquette.

Myles didn't look offended at all. In fact, he looked anxious and proud as he pulled out his wand. It was a stunning brownish-red, and had gold stripes around the handle which was rounded with a pointed tip at the very bottom. "It has a phoenix tail feather in the core!" He said excitedly.

Artemis smirked at his childish excitement, that is, right before he realized he was the exact same way in his current state. Nonetheless, he patted his little brother on the head and said, "That is… very neat, Myles." He let all of his roommates exit the dormitory before he closed the door.

Myles was the last one out. "Not as cool as yours." He said, looking at the chess piece sticking out from under Artemis's stack of books.

"Well, I didn't choose it," Artemis argued, trying to not let his brother feel bad. Myles just shrugged. They walked down the spiral staircase to the common room where the large population of Ravenclaw was gathering. Everyone seemed very excited for their first day. Ella and Thomas were talking by the fireplace, constantly looking over at the crowd nervously Zelia and a group of five others were standing around a chess table chatting lightly. Artemis didn't recognize anyone else from the house, but he assumed he would in time.

There were a fair amount of students in the common room, though they were trickling out to go to breakfast. Brend grabbed his stomach. "I'm famished. Let's go. If we get lost we can ask for help." Then the group of five began their journey out of the common room, down the long, winding staircase with their books, and through the halls. Artemis wasn't so keen on even the mention of getting lost in such a place, and the thought circled around his mind nervously. He hoped they would get to the Great Hall without any problems, and fortunately for him, they did. Unfortunately, he had been so nervous that he had neglected to memorize the path.

Candles, like the previous night, were suspended in midair when they saw the inside of the Hall. Artemis attempted to ponder how they could be held up, but his mind was too distracted, and he hated himself for it. The moving pictures, which he had forgotten from the previous night, scared the living daylights out of him. He tried to ignore the voices, but they were penetrating to his inexperienced mind.

He and his peers took a seat at the Ravenclaw table, where some students were already sitting. Before them sat the feast they had all been told about by their parents and friends and cousins and siblings and neighbors and older students. Except for Artemis. Nobody had told him to mentally prepare for this. There were dishes he had never seen before. Wonderful mixes of eggs and ham and jelly and toast and scones and amazing food. He could almost picture the entire student body getting up on the tables and screaming _Food, Glorious Food! _from _Oliver!_

Needless to say, Artemis dug in. He stuffed himself with goodies, asking for the various trays to be passed to him numerous times. He had never indulged so much and he knew it wasn't good for him, but for some reason the food just kept calling. Figuratively, of course, but you never know. It IS Hogwarts.

He looked up and saw his brother engaged in conversation with the boy and girl next to him. To his left, Brend was talking with Lysander, and Lorcan was just listening. Again. Artemis felt a little left out, but he knew that he could talk to anyone, because nobody knew him here. This was another world – and he was in the part of the world where knowledge was appreciated, not shunned. Maybe he would…make some friends.

_No! _A voice said. He looked around. Had someone summoned him? _No, I'm in your head. Don't make yourself look stupid. _Artemis turned back around to the table and continued eating his orange in silence.

_What do you want? _He asked the voice.

_You've lost it, you know? You WILL NOT want their approval. You DO NOT care. You CAN NOT go searching for the approval of those who are inferior._ It told him harshly. He was scolding himself.

He thought for a moment before responding. _But here, I am not the superior. I know nothing of magic. That is why I am here – to learn. It won't be another St. Bartleby's, now I will have a place to come that won't waste my time._ _So stop talking. _

The voice stopped abruptly whenever Artemis heard his name from the end of the table. He turned to see a lady with dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair in an olive-colored robe. "Your schedule, boy," she said, half-politely.

"Thank you, ma'am." He said politely, and she smiled. He knew that adults liked respect. He, as an… sort of, adult, liked it from his students as well. She

He tore open the envelope, not caring that there was now orange juice all over it. He unfolded the paper and his eyes skimmed over it. "Charms…potions… transfiguration… what is all this?" He mumbled. His "squib" mind didn't recognize any of these names… but he kept reading. "Ah, here we go, Astronomy!" He said, recognizing the only topic he had a feeling he would fully understand.

"All the Ravenclaw first years have the same schedule," Brend said, turning to him. "We always have classes with other houses, though. Let's take a look." Artemis nodded and they both held up their schedules to take a look.

_Note to all students: Classes start after breakfast each day. You will receive one or two breaks each day, depending on your schedule. (Take into account Thursday, which has special modifications to make up for your lost sleep in order to attend Astronomy the previous night.) Your breaks are not to be used to waste time, but to study and get homework done. Please keep in mind that any misused time during breaks will result in the loss of house points. Due to the size of the castle, we will see to it that you have three to five minutes to get to each class after the bell rings. Supper is served at 6:30 each night. On Saturday and Sunday all three meals are served at the same time, so please do not think you can march into the Great Hall and get whatever you please at any hour (This means you, James Potter). _

_Monday:_

_9:00 -10:30Herbology_

_10:30-11:15 Break_

_11:15 – 12:15 Potions_

_12:15 – 1:00 Lunch_

_1:00 – 2:30 Charms_

_2:30 – 4:00 Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_Free Time until 9:00_

_Tuesday _

_9:00 – 9:45 Break_

_9:45 – 11:15 Double Transfiguration_

_11:15 – 12:15 Break_

_12:15 – 1:00 Lunch_

_1:00 – 2:30 Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_2:30 – 4:00 History of Magic_

_Free Time until 9:00_

_Wednesday _

_9:00-9:45 Break_

_9:45 – 11:15 Double Herbology_

_11:15 – 12:15 Break_

_12:15 – 1:00 Lunch_

_1:00 – 2:30 Transfiguration_

_2:30 – 4:00 Charms_

_Free Time until 9:00_

_12:00-1:30 Astronomy (Students are to go directly to Astronomy Tower, no lollygagging) _

_Thursday _

_Breakfast is offered to those willing to wake up and come downstairs._

_Break (for sleep time and regular break time) until 10:45_

_10:45 – 12:15 Transfiguration_

_12:15 – 1:00 Lunch_

_1:00 – 2:30 Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_2:30 – 4:00 Herbology_

_Friday _

_9:00 – 9:45 Break_

_9:45 – 11:15 Double Potions_

_11:15 – 12:15 Flying_

_12:15 – 1:00 Lunch_

_1:00 – 2:30 Charms_

_2:30 – 4:00 History of Magic_

_Free Time until 9:00_

Artemis looked it over again and again. "I just hope I can remember all of this." Brend said aloud, and suddenly they heard someone walk up behind them.

A scary, deep, almost nasally voice spoke. "You are in Ravenclaw," the voice said. "I'm sure you will have no problems with memorization." The two boys turned around in fear, and saw a tall man with dark hair and piercing eyes looking down at them. "I'm Professor Snape, the Potions Master. Are you having any trouble reading your schedule? I was asked by Professor Dumbledore to find out if anyone was."

The two boys sat in fearful silence. This man was frightening.

"I'll take that as a no. I told Professor Trelawney she had put too much sugar in her coffee." He walked away without a good-bye, and Brend and Artemis simultaneously turned back around to their plates.

"That was… Professor Snape." Myles spoke from across the table. "It's okay, Mom said he's always like that." He nodded confidently, but Artemis and Brend weren't so sure.

"I'm not easily scared," Artemis stated with half-shown pride. "But there is something about that man. He just makes me uneasy. He seems very interesting."

Nobody responded to Artemis's comment. They ate in a fearful and awkward silence until the bell rang for their first class at Hogwarts.


	10. Chapter 10 Interactions

Lysander somehow got a hold of a map of Hogwarts, and nobody wanted to ask him where he got it in fear of suddenly becoming paranoid that someone would punish them if he took it. It was a complicated psychological process only Artemis understood fully, and he was much too anxious to think about it in great detail. They followed the map to Greenhouse 1, where they were supposed to meet for Herbology.

Artemis neither knew nor had any idea of what Herbology was like, and so when he walked into a sunlit greenhouse with exotic plants surrounding him, he got an idea that he was about to get closer to nature. Not a thing he was exactly comfortable with nor used to.

When all the Ravenclaw first years (there were ten or eleven of them) were in the greenhouse, they soon realized they were amongst another house – Slytherin. They didn't mind the Slytherins being there, though the Slytherin girls were gathered in the back gossiping, looking around suspiciously at many of the other students.

A young man dressed in brown trousers, a dirty brown robe, and pointed black hat walked in the back door, pushing his way through the gossiping Slytherin girls, much to the amusement of everyone else. "Good day, first years," he began with a confident, but still a little shaky voice.

"Good day," they all responded in unison, rather nervously. He laughed.

"Nervous, are you? Ah, don't be," he said, turning around to a table at the front. "I was nervous my first year as well, but there's no reason to be now that I think about it. Now, I'm Professor Longbottom, I haven't been teaching as long as McGonagall, so pardon me for my lack of experience, but there's nothing about plants I can't tell you. We've got a long year ahead of us, so let's get started." He turned back around to face them, this time with his hair slicked back and his hands covered by gloves of a dark-colored fabric.

They all looked up at him, expecting to be told exactly what to do. He crossed his arms and smiled. "Well, put on your dragon-hide gloves, you've got to figure some things out for yourselves! Come now, quickly, quickly, quickly." He ushered them along until everyone had retrieved their gloves.

He pulled the table in front of him and put a pot from a shelf on to the table and began the lecture. "Now that everyone has them on, please stand in front of a-"

A nasally, high-pitched voice from the back spoke loudly. "Professor Looooongggboootttooooom," the girl said, holding the word out for an unnecessary length of time. "I don't have my glooooovvvves!" Everyone turned to see the girl who looked like Beckett from the back, Clara. She was waving her hand around in the air pathetically.

Professor Longbottom raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you?" He asked. Artemis thought it was odd for a teacher so young to have so much confidence.

"They're in the truuuuuunk in my dooooormitory," she answered, not entirely giving a straight answer. Professor Longbottom rolled his eyes. He held up a long, wood-colored wand and waved it.

"_Accio hall pass_," he said, looking over at a piece of wood hanging on the back door. He handed it to Myles, and he passed it down until it got to her. "Next time you'll have to handle poisonous Devil's Snare seeds with your own bare hands. I'm not this forgiving on anyone but first years, mind you. That will be five points from Slytherin for forgetfulness."

All of the Slytherins sighed heavily. "Not again," somebody said. Artemis questioned how many times this had happened, and only the first day. Clara shoved him – maybe accidentally – while she walked past him and out the door. Professor Longbottom looked around nervously before continuing the speech.

"Alright, now, everyone pick a pot to stand in front of. They've all got the same thing in them, so please don't be choosey." Professor Longbottom raised his hand and motioned for them to all speed it up. Artemis stepped in front of the pot closest to him. He was right at the front, so nobody was standing to his left, but on his right was Scorpius Malfoy. The two smiled at each other and quickly returned their gazes to Longbottom. He lectured them about the dangers of Devil's Snare for a while, and then he suddenly paused.

"So, you're all just going to remember this for the test?" He asked. Everyone looked up at him stupidly. "Sorry, I try to model my teaching skills after Professor Sprout. Your parents may tell you about her, but anyway. Is this young man the only one taking notes?" He motioned over at Myles, who saw a finger pointed in his direction and he looked up from his quill and paper. "Ravenclaw?" He asked him. Myles nodded nervously. "Five points for you. I suggest everyone else gets out their quills and takes notes as well."

There was a brief sound of paper fluttering and the clinking of ink holders, and then suddenly everyone was ready to take notes. Longbottom shook his head, crossed his arms again, and smiled. "Don't worry, you first years are always slow, now, let's continue on Devil's Snare, this is important!"

He turned around and waved his wand. A large drawing appeared on the blackboard, pieces of multi-colored chalk moving on their own to sketch it out. The well-drawn picture was that of many intertwining vines, with darkly colored roots and thorns. Once the chalk had stopped moving, Longbottom turned around, continuing the lecture. "Now, don't worry, we won't be working with Devil's Snare itself, but we will be looking at the seeds in front of you – in the pots – that is, and be looking at what magical substances are used to grow Devil's Snare.

"Devil's Snare is a dangerous plant. It can and will kill you." Professor Longbottom said, very outright. Everyone paused a little, suddenly realizing the full danger of this plant. Longbottom noticed this, and then continued. "I know, it sounds scary, right? But you will rarely find it if you only go places that you are supposed to, Harry."

Everyone suddenly perked up. Harry? Nobody named Harry was in this class, or even the first years of any of the houses. Longbottom laughed nervously. "Oh, ah, sorry. I was just remembering my friend Harry, and how he always got into trouble… and encountered Devil's Snare… sorry. Anyway. Uh… just, if you ever get tangled in it and nobody can pull you out, you're doomed." He nervously turned around and fluttered through papers and pots before he turned back around to a classroom of rather pale students. "So, if you struggle, it will only kill you faster. This may be the better option if you don't want to die a painful death. However, it doesn't like things like light, so if you can get your wand in time and create some light, do so. Now, everyone please look at the small box of seeds by your pot." He held up a small wooden box with about a dozen seeds in it.

Artemis looked at Scorpius nervously, hoping to model what he was doing, but Scorpius was doing the same to him. It was becoming clearer to Artemis that he wasn't the only one that had no idea what he was doing. He reached for his box and held it up to his chest, and awaited further instructions. Scorpius did the same. "Now take about half of them and dump them in the pot. Keep the other half in the box."

Artemis carefully put them in the pot, making sure to get the same amount of seeds on the outside. He wasn't thinking much else, just furiously focusing. Longbottom then told them to water them and then load them on the cart in the back of the room. "They're going to be used for security at Gringotts, so you can be proud your help keeping honest peoples' money safe."

All the students followed directions, though Artemis had no idea what or where Gringotts may be. He assumed it was a safe or a bank of some sort, but he didn't ask.

The rest of the class was spent dissecting the seeds of Devil's Snare, which Artemis found rather fascinating. It was interesting to him to see such small things that he knew had the potential to turn into something so deadly. There was a faint ring of a bell in the background, and Artemis quickly packed up the rest of his belongings and headed for the main castle. His acquaintances quickly caught up with him.

"Artemis, did you like it?" Myles asked, out of breath from running up to him.

"Did I like what?" Artemis said, looking over at his brother.

"Herbology, of course! Did you like it?" By now the Scamander twins and Brend had joined them. Scorpius wasn't far behind.

"I… I mean, of course I liked it! There are very few learning opportunities I don't find enjoyable. It was very interesting.." He said honestly.

Scorpius shrugged. "Yeah, I thought it was a little dry, but Longbottom seems a lot different than what my father explained. Let's go to the courtyard so we can talk." The Ravenclaw boys all looked at each other, and they all nodded. None of them saw any problems with it. It was a lengthy walk due to the size of the castle, but they saw a lot of other students there.

They sat down and listened to Scorpius's extensive story regarding how Neville Longbottom was a pathetic boy who failed at Potions class when Scorpius's father was in class with him. He was easy to make fun of, apparently, but he scored at or near the top every year in Herbology. "I suppose he made a rather good comeback at life. Father said he was rather pudgy."

Some girls sitting on a bench across from them giggled. They were some of the Slytherin girls –including Clara– and a Hufflepuff Artemis couldn't remember the name of. "What are you tittering at?" He asked rather harshly. Clearly his naïve side had disappeared.

"We were just talking about how handsome Professor Longbottom is, and we think your stories are funny." One sitting next to Clara stated.

"Eavesdropping isn't very polite." Artemis said.

"I tried to tell them that." Said the Hufflepuff girl, sounding annoyed at her female companions.

"Fine, Isli, you know, you can be a goody two-shoes. _I'm _going to the library." Clara said, standing up. All of the Slytherin girls immediately stood up and followed her inside.

The one Hufflepuff girl looked agitated at being left alone, but a little sad as well. Brend frowned. "What jerks. You can sit with us if you want to." He scooted over on the bench so she could easily have a seat between him and Artemis.

She stood up. "Okay, I guess. I need someone to talk to." She stood up, holding her messenger bag, and sat down right in-between Brend and Artemis. Brend didn't seem to mind, but Artemis wasn't comfortable asking a strange girl to sit by them.

"Your name is Isli? Is that what Clara said?" Myles asked.

"Yeah, Isli Moonbeam. It's funny; I almost got put in Ravenclaw. I just didn't think I could handle the pressure. You know, not being as smart or whatever." She held onto the yellow lining of her robe and rubbed it between her fingers. "So what are your names?" She asked politely.

"Brend." "Myles." Were said simultaneously. She laughed and looked over at the twins.

"I'm Lysander, this is Lorcan." Lysander said, motioning at him and his brother.

Isli looked over at Artemis. He was trying to appear like he wasn't paying attention, but she noticed him anyway. "What about you?"

"Pardon?" Artemis said, hoping she would just look away.

"Your name is?" She asked, motioning with her hands.

"Oh, Artemis Fowl." He said semi-proudly.

"Well, 'Oh Artemis Fowl', there's no reason to be so standoffish." She said accusingly. Artemis didn't detect that she was joking. Artemis didn't understand a lot of humor if it wasn't sarcasm.

"Pardon me for not being like everyone else." Artemis said, realizing he was back in character and annoyed at the sudden social contact.

W_hy so harsh?_ A voice said as he stood up and walked away from the group._ A girl wants to talk to you! A _GIRL. He ignored the voice to the best of his abilities as it lectured him about being harsh towards his… friends, and this stranger. Mood swings weren't his thing – they never had been, and he found it extremely odd that it was happening now that he was young again.

He had no idea where he was walking – but he figured he was headed for the Ravenclaw dormitories. He wandered for a while, occasionally running into some first years, and about ten-forty-five he decided it wasn't worth it to get lost and that he had better head back to find his comrades.

With five minutes to go before his next class was to begin, he was nervously hoping that he wouldn't be late. He caught up with his brother and Lysander, who were looking around at the map, looking for the potions classroom. They found it right on time – the bell was ringing as they walked into the large room in the basement. Professor Snape was at the front of the room, looking over the students. Artemis thought he looked a little intimidating, but he knew he couldn't be as bad as the rumors he had heard from walking around the courtyard and the school.

"Which of the houses are we having class with this time?" Artemis asked his brother quietly, not taking his eyes off of Snape.

"Ummm…." Myles said, looking around. "Hufflepuff." He stated.

"Alright, thanks." Artemis said. At the end of his s, Professor Snape began speaking rather loudly.

"Please have a seat," he said in a dark, nasally voice. Myles instantly froze, his voice itself knocking the excited little boy out of his physical appearance instantly. Artemis didn't think he was as frightening as Myles portrayed, though he was daunting.

The two brothers took off to the front, though Myles refused to sit any closer than the second row of tables. Artemis sat at the front on the left side of the row. He heard a chair pull up next to him, but he didn't want to know who it was unless he had to work with them. For now he just wanted to pay attention to Professor Snape.

He ranted for a long time about how dignified the study of potions was, and how there were many purposes potions could serve. Artemis childishly snuck a glance at the students in the back because he thought he heard the distinct sound of snoring. There were, indeed, two Hufflepuff boys in the back, heads in on the table, asleep. As Artemis turned around, he happened to see who was next to him.

Isli Moonbeam. He rolled his eyes and refocused on Snape, who luckily hadn't noticed his temporary distraction – the only thing that could make him want to leave class.


End file.
